You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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