my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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