Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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