you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize