Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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