Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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