I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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