I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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