i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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