Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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