areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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