8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize