you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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