she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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