is your mom at the bar?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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