So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize