Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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