You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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