bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize