I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize