Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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