One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize