She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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