I wish I only lived at night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize