Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
is that a dick in a sweater?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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