im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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