And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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