I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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