she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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