So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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