I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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