those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize