Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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