i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
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Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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