We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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