Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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