you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize