I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize