Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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