found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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