I feel great
I just peed on a car
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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