I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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