Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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