Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize