Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize