you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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