Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize