Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
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Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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