I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize