So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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